By Pastor Frank Gil – Mayfair Road Campus Pastor
Since I entered into ministry in my early 20s I found myself teaching every year on Godly dating, a biblical sexual ethic, and why God’s commands for us on these topics are actually good for us. Our sin has caused us to experience broken relationships and experience brokenness in our views of sex and sexuality. However, our God is a God that takes our brokenness and restores us to how things ought to be.
Below are resources on a wide variety of topics with a little commentary from me. These resources can begin the conversation but I would encourage you to not do this alone. Read or study some of these resources with a friend, someone in your small group, or with your significant other. When you are being challenged, have questions, or are offended by what you are seeing, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your campus pastor. We are here to help.
Sex, Dating, and Relationships: A Fresh Approach by Gerald Hiestand & Jay Thomas
I read a ton of really bad books from the 90s about dating and relationships that were full of legalism and shame. This book is the most biblical and gospel-centered book on dating and relationships I have ever read. If you are single or dating and read nothing else, grab this book.
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim and Kathy Keller
Tim Keller is one of the greatest thinkers of our time and his wisdom and insight with his wife about marriage is brilliant. This isn’t just for engaged or married people. If you have a desire to get married, this book is for you. If you are engaged, this book is for you. If you are married, this book is for you. What I am saying is that this book is for you.
Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating by Marshall Segal
It can seem that after about 25 if you are a Christian and single, people begin to pity you as if singleness is a problem you need to solve because you are missing out on something. Whether you are seeking marriage or not, singleness shouldn’t be stigmatized as a problem. Segal’s book is only one of two books on the subject that I am aware of that are really helpful for believers.
7 Myths about Singleness by Sam Allberry
This is the other book. Like the first book, it will help singles see their singleness as a positive gift and a blessing from the Lord.
You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity by Francis and Lisa Chan
Another great book about marriage.
Is God anti-gay? (Questions Christians Ask) by Sam Allberry
In this short book, Sam Allberry answers common questions about sexuality and Christianity.
Gay Girl, Good God: The Story of Who I Was, and Who God Has Always Been by Jackie Hill Perry
Jackie Hill Perry is an incredible woman of God I have been following for years. She is a poet and a rapper. However, her story into how she came to Christ and how she had to wrestle with her sexuality is incredible. This book is filled with compassion and grace and a deep study of God’s word and how it should impact our lives.
Why does God care who I sleep with? (Questioning Faith) by Sam Allberry
I really like Sam Allberry. He is a smart guy who talks about a lot of hot topics.
Porn Is Not Harmless. It’s Cruel. By Justin Holcomb
A great summary of the problem of porn. This is not just about God saying no to porn. It is a social problem, a mental health problem, and a relationship problem.
The Porn-Free Family Plan by Tim Challies
How to make a plan to prevent porn from overtaking you and your family.
https://www.covenanteyes.com/
Quit porn using accountability and filtering.
How Hebrew Poetry Works
Rhyming Thoughts
While Western poetry often relies on metered rhyme (similar-sounding words), ancient Israelite poetry doesn’t follow a master system of meter or sound. Instead, its primary organizing principle is the parallelism of lines—essentially, biblical poets “rhyme” thoughts and ideas rather than sounds.
- The Heartbeat: Parallelism Parallelism is an “associative mode of thought” where two things are placed next to each other to show their relation. It assumes that to truly understand an idea, you need to grasp another idea that is both similar and distinct. There are three main types:
- Synonymous: The second line repeats the first using different words (e.g., “The heavens declare the glory of God; / the skies proclaim the work of his hands”).
- Antithetical: The second line contrasts the first, often using the word “but” (e.g., “The Lord watches over the way of the righteous, / but the way of the wicked leads to destruction”).
- Synthetic (Progressive): The lines build on each other to tell a developing story or narrative.
- The Color: Imagery & Metaphor Biblical poems are “terseness” personified—they use fewer words than normal speech to communicate rich, imaginative experiences. To understand them, we must understand the ancient Israelite worldview. Common metaphors include:
- The Shepherd: Signifying God’s care, provision, and leadership.
- The Rock/Fortress: Representing stability, safety, and refuge.
- Unsafe Landscapes: Using deserts, storms, or waves to signify fear or tests of faith.
The Architecture: Structural Glue
The psalmists didn’t just write individual lines; they used sophisticated “structural glue” to organize their prayers into larger units.
- Stanzas: Groups of lines that form a distinct “paragraph” or unit of thought.
- Refrains: A phrase repeated at intervals, like a musical chorus, grounding the reader in a recurring truth during shifts in mood.
- Inclusio (The Envelope): This is when a poem begins and ends with the same phrase. These “bookends” signal that everything in the middle should be interpreted through that specific frame.
- Chiasm (Symmetry): A pattern where themes are repeated in reverse order (A-B-C-B-A). In a Chiasm, the “C” (the center) is the “hinge”—it is the most important point the author wants to make.
Our Language of Faith
Themes to Look For
As we dive into the Psalms together, use your reading guide to look for these six specific themes. These aren’t just categories; they are the “language of faith” that helps us trust in Jesus, become like Jesus, and do as Jesus did.
- Praise & Hymns (The Language of Adoration) These are songs of “orientation”—they recognize the right order of the world with God at the center. This language is used to express direct worship for who God is, not just what He has done. When we pray these, we align our hearts with the truth of His character.
- Lament (The Language of Raw Honesty) About one-third of the Psalms are laments—cries of pain, protest, and confusion. This is the language of “disorientation.” These psalms give us permission to bring our grief and anger to God. They remind us that God welcomes our honesty, and bringing our pain to Him is actually a profound act of faith because it assumes He is listening and He is the only one who can help.
- Petition (The Language of Asking) Petition often goes hand-in-hand with lament. It is the specific cry for help, protection, or intervention. Whether asking God to “wake up” or to “be a shield,” this theme gives us the words to express our total dependence on Him when we are in distress or facing injustice.
- Thanksgiving (The Language of Rescue) This is the language of “new orientation.” These psalms are the “before and after” stories of the Bible. They are prayed after God has delivered or rescued the psalmist. They move beyond general praise to specific gratitude for a concrete act of God’s faithfulness in time and space.
- Wisdom (The Language of Reflection) Wisdom psalms (like Psalm 1 or 119) invite us to reflect on how to live life well. They often contrast “two ways” of living—the way of the righteous who meditate (hagah) on God’s Word and the way of those who ignore it. This language helps us navigate the complexities of life in light of God’s instructions.
- Royal (The Language of Hope) Royal psalms focus on the King or the promised “Anointed One.” While they originally spoke of the Davidic kings, they point us toward the ultimate King, Jesus. This is the language of waiting and hope, looking forward to the day when God’s Kingdom fully arrives on earth as it is in heaven.
Reflect & Apply:
The 150-Day Challenge
Our challenge to you is to read one Psalm a day over the next 150 days.
Choose Your Journey
- The 150-Day Challenge: Read one Psalm a day for a steady, transformative experience.
As you read, use these three questions from your bookmark to guide your meditation:
- How should this psalm make you feel? Notice the psalmist’s raw honesty. What emotion is it designed to help you express to God right now?
- Where is Jesus? Many psalms come from someone waiting on God. What is this psalm waiting for? Does Jesus answer that wait, or did He experience that same wait Himself?
- Can you use this psalm to talk to God right now? If so, pray it! If not, “hide it in your heart”—you may need it soon.
Happy meditating (hagah-ing)!
Dive Deeper
Recommended Resources
If you want to go even further in your study of biblical poetry and the Psalms, here are some excellent resources compiled from our class:
Watch & Learn
The BibleProject has created several incredible video series that bring these concepts to life. We highly recommend checking out:
How to Read the Bible series: Includes specific videos on Poetry, Poetic Metaphor, and The Book of Psalms.
Read & Explore