Since I entered into ministry in my early 20s I found myself teaching every year on Godly dating, a biblical sexual ethic, and why God’s commands for us on these topics are actually good for us. Our sin has caused us to experience broken relationships and experience brokenness in our views of sex and sexuality. However, our God is a God that takes our brokenness and restores us to how things ought to be.
Below are resources on a wide variety of topics with a little commentary from me. These resources can begin the conversation but I would encourage you to not do this alone. Read or study some of these resources with a friend, someone in your small group, or with your significant other. When you are being challenged, have questions, or are offended by what you are seeing, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your campus pastor. We are here to help.
Sex, Dating, and Relationships: A Fresh Approach by Gerald Hiestand & Jay Thomas
I read a ton of really bad books from the 90s about dating and relationships that were full of legalism and shame. This book is the most biblical and gospel-centered book on dating and relationships I have ever read. If you are single or dating and read nothing else, grab this book.
The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Tim and Kathy Keller
Tim Keller is one of the greatest thinkers of our time and his wisdom and insight with his wife about marriage is brilliant. This isn’t just for engaged or married people. If you have a desire to get married, this book is for you. If you are engaged, this book is for you. If you are married, this book is for you. What I am saying is that this book is for you.
Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating by Marshall Segal
It can seem that after about 25 if you are a Christian and single, people begin to pity you as if singleness is a problem you need to solve because you are missing out on something. Whether you are seeking marriage or not, singleness shouldn’t be stigmatized as a problem. Segal’s book is only one of two books on the subject that I am aware of that are really helpful for believers.
7 Myths about Singleness by Sam Allberry
This is the other book. Like the first book, it will help singles see their singleness as a positive gift and a blessing from the Lord.
You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity by Francis and Lisa Chan
Another great book about marriage.
Is God anti-gay? (Questions Christians Ask) by Sam Allberry
In this short book, Sam Allberry answers common questions about sexuality and Christianity.
Gay Girl, Good God: The Story of Who I Was, and Who God Has Always Been by Jackie Hill Perry
Jackie Hill Perry is an incredible woman of God I have been following for years. She is a poet and a rapper. However, her story into how she came to Christ and how she had to wrestle with her sexuality is incredible. This book is filled with compassion and grace and a deep study of God’s word and how it should impact our lives.
Why does God care who I sleep with? (Questioning Faith) by Sam Allberry
I really like Sam Allberry. He is a smart guy who talks about a lot of hot topics.
Porn Is Not Harmless. It’s Cruel. By Justin Holcomb
A great summary of the problem of porn. This is not just about God saying no to porn. It is a social problem, a mental health problem, and a relationship problem.
The Porn-Free Family Plan by Tim Challies
How to make a plan to prevent porn from overtaking you and your family.
Quit porn using accountability and filtering.